Communication Bill of Rights

All persons, regardless of the extent or severity of their disabilities, have a basic right to affect, through communication, the conditions of their own existence.

Beyond this general right, a number of specific communication rights should beensured in all daily interactions and interventions involving persons who havesevere disabilities.

These basic communication rights are as follows:

1. The right to request desired objects, actions, events, and persons, and to express personal preferences, or feelings.

2. The right to be offered choices and alternatives.

3. The right to reject or refuse undesired objects, events, or actions, including the right to decline or reject all proffered choices.

4. The right to request, and be given, attention from and interaction with another person.

5. The right to request feedback or information about a state, an object, a person, or an event of interest.

6. The right to active treatment and intervention efforts to enable people with severe disabilities to communicate messages in whatever modes and as effectively and efficiently as their specific abilities will allow.

7. The right to have communicative acts acknowledged and responded to, even when the intent of these acts cannot be fulfilled by the responder.

8. The right to have access at all times to any needed augmentative and alternative communication devices and other assistive devices,

--to have those devices in good working order.

9. The right to environmental contexts, interactions, and opportunities that expect and encourage persons with disabilities to participate as full communicative partners with other people, including peers.

10. The right to be informed about the people, things, and events in one's immediate environment.

11. The right to be communicated with in a manner that recognizes and acknowledges the inherent dignity of the person being addressed, including the right to be part of communication exchanges about individuals that are conducted in his or her presence.

12. The right to be communicated with in ways that are meaningful, understandable, and culturally and linguistically appropriate."

~National Joint Committee for the Communicative Needs of Persons with Severe Disabilities

Flowers for Algernon

Algernon's Story

Or, Why care about what animals feel, or think or communicate.

Here's the story of a real rat. His name was Algernon. He was my lab rat in college. I was majoring in Psychology, and at my particular University, Behaviorism was the norm. Behaviorism says that it doesn't matter what is "inside the box" of people's heads (or animals) because we can't really know that, we can only study behavior. Which is the evidence of "something" inside the box, but we don't have to know what it is to study it.

Algernon was a white lab rat bred to be practically identical to all the other white lab rats my class was using, so any differences in behavior we noted would be supposedly entirely due to how we treated them and experimented on them. The rats were in little wire cages stacked on top of each other with numbers on the front, a water bottle and a small amount of food pellets for them to eat. They could see and smell each other but not touch each other. We were to reduce the food until they all were hungry based on a formula that was called a starvation diet, then they went without food for a day so we could experiment with hungry rats. The hunger was the motivator for them to do what we wanted to train them to do.

We were rewarding them with a single food pellet for pressing a bar in another cage while we took notes. There was a specific process called "shaping" that we were all supposed to be learning. So us students were being "shaped" too.

I felt sorry for my rat. I wasn't supposed to name him because we weren't supposed to think of them that way so we could be objective when we called them by the numbers we had given them. Of course, I thought the number was a name, too. But I had just read the book "Flowers for Algernon" and thought I'd be cute and name him that to be a bit rebellious. I started feeding him in between other classes. I brought him real food, like lettuce. He seemed to really love the real food--but that was "inside the black box" so I couldn't be sure except that I knew he was very hungry, and I saw him eating it very fast.

Anyway, my rat should have been the slowest to press the bar in the group of rats. The days we all got our rats, most students put on these heavy gloves to pick up their rats so they wouldn't be bitten. Algernon let me pet him when I fed him, so he let me pick him up easily, and then I would pet him and talk to him. My classmates made fun of me talking to a rat. Other classmates picked their rats up by their tails like we were taught to (to avoid the "friendliness" part.) I made fun of them because of their squeeling and even screaming a bit when they reached in to get their rats and the rats struggled.

So I cuddled Algernon a bit, watching all this. My professor frowned at me and said my rat would do poorly because we didn't have as much time to do the "shaping." So, Algernon goes into the testing cage. He looks around curiously exploring everything, touches the bar, sniffs the food pellet, takes his time eating it. Then goes and looks around some more and then looks at ME. I cheer him on. I get teased. (MY shaping isn't going so well.)

This goes on for a few minutes, and pretty soon he's eating about 5 pellets and grooming himself. So I look at how the other rats are doing, thinking I can learn something from all the other behaviorist experts who are doing it "the right way." Next to me, a student's rat is in a corner, fur all ruffled up, head down. I ask, "So how many pellets has he eaten?" She says he hasn't eaten any because he had stayed in the corner the whole time so far.

On the other side, the rat is going in circles, around and around, looking nervous or angry about something (although, I am not supposed to presume such a feeling inside its "black box".) I ask the student how many pellets his rat has eaten and he says something like, "I don't give a shit, he's just bit me when I put him in there. This rat is F***** crazy, he just keeps going in circles." This is the guy who put him in by lifting it by the tail like we were told to.

The next day, I give Algernon a special treat of seeds and fruit. He's not hungry at all when he goes into the cage. We talk a bit, he goes into the cage, looks around, gets comfortable, and saunters over to the bar and then LOOKS AT ME. I cheer him on, I get teased again. He proceeds to push the bar about ten times. The other rats still haven't found the bar yet. Some are just starting to get "closer" to the bar, though. This is the shaping part--we were supposed to give them a pellet for just looking at the bar at first, then for getting "closer."

The next time, I do the same thing. He goes right over to the bar, looks at me, and proceeds to push the bar about 20 times. I cheer him on. I get teased. But everyone comes over to watch. He pushes the bar another 20 times. I have only rewarded him with a few pellets. He looks at me. I think he is enjoying this, but I am probably only "projecting" my feelings onto him. I know I certainly am enjoying this. He proceeds to push the bar another 30 times before cleaning his fur. I take him out of the cage, and give him a bit of bananna. I talk to him.

My professor is furious. He says I have "ruined" the experiment. The next day, nobody is watching anyone else's rat. Algernon is the star. He is pushing the bar as fast as he can, to cheers and whoops. He pushes the bar 100 times, and I have to stop him and give him a rest. The experiment is over. He only had to do 100 times to get one pellet to "prove" how shaping works. He didn't need that one pellet. I had given him an entire apple that morning.

I was reprimanded by my professor, and my grade was docked for feeding my rat and not keeping him on the standard starvation diet during the experiment. I complained that my rat completed the experiment, did the shaping, and I had learned how to do the shaping even though he wasn't "motivated" by hunger. The professor said I had disrupted the class (just because everone was watching my rat, not because I was acting disruptive during class) and was a bad example to the other students, and my grade was reduced.

I asked to keep Algernon when the experiment was over. The professor said it was against the rules because the students tended to loose track of them and they got into the University's sewers. I was going to sneak in and steal him (the professor told me I would be accused of stealing University property if I did) but because I had spoken to my professor about it, he had expedited the process of killing all the rats used in the experiment by the standard method of putting them all into a black plastic bag and gassing them.

There were lots of tears for Algernon. He did a very good job of being a lab rat for me.

So my experience with Behaviorism, was that I got really good at shaping animal behavior. I got on the Dean's list that year. I used that to get a scholarship, and I used the scholarship to buy a motorcycle.

Thank you for the motorcycle, Algernon. It drove me really nice to my Physics class, where there are few parking spots.

One Year Update on Doing the GF/CF Diet

Earlier I posted a personal experience with putting an Autistic boy on the GF/CF diet. Here is an update one year later (the posting was written a year ago for another Forum, but I didn't put it on this blog right away.)

My son is 15 and was a non-verbal, moderately Autistic child when diagnosed. He had a lot of behavior issues and minimal responsiveness to the world outside our own home, and tons of feeding issues. He had GI studies which showed unusual lesions in his stomach nobody could explain or treat. Some Doctors think that this is actually a result of measles from the MMR and an incomplete immune reaction to the immunization.

The first month was all about getting ready. I cleared out the entire house of anything with Gluten and Casein in it and gave away what was still good to friends and a food pantry. I printed up the diet guidelines, and gave them to the school and family members who would be eating with him. I printed up cards with the restrictions on it to give to staff at restaraunts. I started following two publications: The "Gluten-Free Girl" blog, and "Living Without Magazine."

Reading the Gluten-Free Girl's book by the same name (its in our local library) led me to recognize some of her same symptoms in myself, too. So I put the entire family on the diet. Its SO MUCH EASIER this way. No worry about what to eat, what is OK to eat. I put the pantry together with enough stuff over a week or two so that I had enough snacks to tide us over until I could make more of the meals on my own. My autistic son was already pretty much eating things we could keep. The only thing he ended up missing was pizza. I tried to make a GF/CF pizza, but he didn't like the version I made at the time. Later, I found a brand of frozen pizza that is made GF/CF which he is starting to get used to. I think after a year, he's forgotten the taste of the other kind of pizza, so the difference isn't so obvious.

Anyway, the results are in. After a few "misses" where his Dad had trouble with buying into it, his behavior improved so much that even he is more convinced that the diet is worth the trouble of being careful even away from home. The school is very, very convinced. Enough to have taken an interest in how the diet works, and providing a separate place for him to prepare his own food, and to provide staff support during lunchtime. The caffeteria staff has agreed to provide one item he really likes at the school during lunches for him.

He is on the honor roll now. His behavior issues have dwindled to almost none, from several times a week. He has learned to cook his own lunch at school, knows what is on his own diet (with a little mock moaning about it, but he follows it anyway.) He even makes extra food for friends. He eats with everyone else in the caffeteria. He has several new friends (non-special ed.) and has been to two dances, and has some girlfriends (nothing serious.) He has made a movie, posted it to UTube, and has about 50 friends on Facebook. He is doing advanced work in computers and even finished his exam ahead of time, so he could take that day off and made plans with friends instead. He can go independently to a restaraunt with friends.

He's grown several inches and is now taller than his father. He looks very healthy and is height/weight proportionate.

He doesn't think he's all that different, but everyone else is noticing how much better he is doing. He even sleeps better at night.

It wasn't a dramatic, overnight change. But mine was. Within a week of following this diet strictly myself, I lost all symptoms of health problems I had been having for over 20 years. I was able to go off all prescription medications I was on, and so was my son. He only takes some supplements now. There really is something to this diet. But it is something you can't cheat on (no, nobody is going to have an allergic reaction like some kids have to peanuts) but if you cheat, it does make a difference. Even if you have some food that seems GF/CF, but has tiny amounts in the form of additives or cross-contamination you can have a difference.

I think that for my son, he might be able to cheat a bit as time goes on, but for me, I can tell right away because I have pain and all my old symptoms return for at least 5 hours to 3 days.

Autistics have an unusual tolerance for pain (and an equally unusual intolerance for light touch and bright lights and loud sounds.) So perhaps my son doesn't notice pain that might have been similar to mine. Either that, or his symptoms hadn't had the chance to progress to the level mine had over the last 20 years.

I hope that someday this diet is researched better. But it is unlikely that drug manufacturers will fund it because it isn't a drug treatment. Parents, the government, and charity funders will have to do it.

I hope that every parent of an Autistic child at least hears about the potential for this diet to help their child. It might not help every child, but I have a feeling that some families have a hard time keeping the strictness required, like we had the first time we tried it. It really helped to have the blogs, the magazine, the family support and the school support. This time around, it really helped to have more choices of prepared foods. There is a bakery in a nearby town that makes some really delicious fresh baked goods that are Celiac-friendly, and that has helped a lot.

My extended family has all seen such improvement in us that my sister, mother and a neice have all gone on versions of this diet. The neice's rhumatism has gone into remission. My sister lost the last 5 pounds she has been battling to get to a size 6. I lost 25 lbs without trying to. I never thought to even suggest they try an autism diet for these things (except the rhumatism.)

I have so much more energy that I have started learning swing dancing, joined the local gym and work out every day now. I feel like a whole new person.

The diet isn't a weight loss diet. You can loose weight if you want to. Nor is it for treating Fibromyalgia (I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, IBS, Chronic Fatigue, low thyroid and headaches.) However, for anyone with chronic pain, I suggest at least trying it for two weeks. I could tell after only one week.

The high point of the year was when my family produced an entire Christmas feast that was GF/CF for us, and I got my very first GF/CF birthday cake for my 50th. I wish I had known to do this 30 years ago.

I sometimes wonder now, that if I had avoided these two allergens back then, if I might have prevented at least some aspects of my son being born with Autism.

Personally, I think my son inherited certain genes, and my immune system was compromised by stress from the loss of my first child to cancer. My imbalanced immunity was passed to him through the neonatal period and from nursing. After which, the many, many immunizations he was given made his immune system become unbalanced in a way that has neurological implications.

Value Decisions

"One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others,
by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion."

~ Simone de Beauvoir

Did You Know?

Spina Bifida is the most frequently occurring permanently disabling birth defect.

Taking 0.4 mgs of Folic Acid each day can help reduce the risk of Spina Bifida up to 75%!

http://www.sbawi.org/

Raise money for SBAWI just by searching the internet with GoodSearch - www.goodsearch.com - powered by Yahoo!

Let's All Wabi Sabi

Wabi-sabi

"The Japanese view of life embraced a simple aesthetic that grew stronger as inessentials were eliminated and trimmed away."

-architect Tadao Ando



A comprehensive Japanese world view, aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience, of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete." The Japanese word for rust is pronounced sabi. A wabi-sabi aesthetic values asymmetry, asperity, simplicity, modesty, intimacy, and the suggestion of a natural process.


A good example of this is in certain styles of Japanese pottery. In Japanese tea ceremony, cups used are often rustic and simple-looking, e.g. Hagi ware, with shapes that are not quite symmetrical, and colors or textures that appear to emphasize an unrefined or simple style. In reality, the cups can be quite expensive and in fact, it is up to the knowledge and observational ability of the participant to notice and discern the hidden signs of a truly excellent design or glaze (akin to the appearance of a diamond in the rough.) The glaze is known to change in color with time as tea is repeatedly poured into them (sabi) and the fact that the cups are deliberately chipped or nicked at the bottom (wabi), which serves as a kind of signature of the Hagi-yaki style.



Wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. Wabi originally referred to the loneliness of living in nature, remote from society; Sabi meant "chill", "lean" or "withered."

More positive connotations of Wabi now indicate rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness.

Japanese arts over the past thousand years have been influenced by Zen and Mahayana philosophy of acceptance, and contemplation of the imperfection, constant flux, and impermanence of all things.

These can be of both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It refers to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to an object. Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.

Wabi-sabi is the most conspicuous and characteristic feature of what we think of as traditional Japanese beauty. It occupies roughly the same position in the Japanese pantheon of aesthetic values as do the Greek ideals of beauty and perfection in the West. If an object or expression can bring about within us a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi.

Wabi and sabi both suggest sentiments of desolation and solitude.

From an engineering or design point of view, "wabi" is the imperfect quality of any object, due to the inevitable limitations in design and construction/manufacture, especially with respect to unpredictable or changing usage conditions.

Sabi is then the aspect of imperfect reliability, or limited mortality of any object; to rust.

In the Mahayana Buddhist view of the universe, these may be viewed as positive characteristics, representing liberation from a material world and transcendence to a simpler life. Mahayana philosophy itself, however, warns that genuine understanding cannot be achieved through words or language, so accepting wabi-sabi on nonverbal terms may be the most appropriate approach. (Through the effects of objects, art, or observation of the world.)

The wabi and sabi concepts are religious in origin, but actual usage of the words in Japanese is often quite casual. Japanese belief systems are syncretic in nature.

Honkyoku (traditional shakuhachi music of wandering Zen monks,)

ikebana (flower arrangement,)

Japanese gardens,

Zen gardens,

and bonsai (tray gardens,)

Japanese poetry, particularly haiku,

Japanese pottery, notably Hagi-ware,

Japanese tea ceremony, and

Bonsai, the Japanese art of miniature trees, all have wabi sabi aesthetic.

--Leonard Koren in his book Wabi-Sabi: for Artists, Designers, Poets and Philosophers
Summary of Wikipedia description

Great article on Wabi Sabi: http://nobleharbor.com/tea/chado/WhatIsWabi-Sabi.htm


This post is in memory of Allison Sullivan, an other-worldly sprite who I was honored to have met, who I think, exemplified the distilled nature of human existence in all its beauty, through the wabi sabi patina of her earthly teacup of great value to her family and friends.

Dance Like There is No Tomorrow

"Live not as though there were a thousand years ahead of you.

Fate is at your elbow; make yourself good while life and power are still yours."

--Marcus Aurelius

The Way the Wind Blows

"If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. "

~Kahlil Gibran

I can't live without my melior.

This is something I would take with me if I only had one trunk to put everything in.

I have used my melior pot for 6 years, and the one before that for over 18 years. A melior pot is a way to make coffee. Really good coffee. Without using up one of the scarce electrical outlets on my kitchen counter. My kitchen counter is premium real estate. Whatever is there has to really earn its priviledged place in my life. I use one made by Bodum, called the Chambord. There are other manufacturers that make this kind of coffee press, too. They are also called a French Press coffee maker. Mine makes 8 cups (34 oz) and you can get them in other sizes. The first one I got made about two cups (depending on how large your coffee mug is. These days one cup in a mug is the same size as three regular cups used to be!)

I think that this is the best way to make coffee, because you don't actually boil the coffee itself. You add boiling water to the press with coarse ground coffee, but then let it steep for about 4 minutes, instead of continuing to boil it like my Mother's and Grandmother's coffee makers used to do.

The Bodum people say they are Dishwasher safe, but I handwash mine, because I love it so much.

Here's the advantages to using a melior pot, from someone who loves coffee, and has used one for over 20 years:

They are quick and easy to use.
With the time I save, I have begun to grind my own coffee with a small spice/coffee grinder.

No filter needed.

You don't need to buy coffee filters, since the melior comes with its own permanent filter. So to save money and time, I often forgoe adding a paper filter. I also can taste the paper and got tired of that added paper taste.

Years ago, I switched to chlorine-free coffee filters when a family member died of cancer. So these were sometimes hard to find. But you can buy filters for meliors. You only need a small circle of filter paper the size of the diameter of the pot, and I can find these at my local grocery. This is if you want to remove certain oils that are in coffee that tend to make it bitter, and less healthy. Research has found that the paper coffee filter does make a difference. I can't seem to find the chlorine-free version of these, but I suppose if I was a fanatic, I could simply cut the circles out of the larger size chlorine-free filters.

No plastic.

I like that they are not made of plastic. They use some kind of temperature resistant resin to make the handles, but no plastic touches the water/coffee. I can taste the plastic when drinking coffee, (particularly the styrofoam cups) and when you pay a premium price for the coffee, you want to taste the coffee, and all the nuances of really good coffee. I also am very concerned about the additives in some plastics, particularly the very hard plastics like Nalgene, which have had a cancer-causing agent added to them that leaches into what is contained by them.

When I was working, I was remarking on how much garbage our lunchroom created, and began re-using my styrofoam cups a few times by rinsing them out. When a few months later I took it a step further (which at the time seemed radical,) and tried to reduce my impact on the environment by bringing my own ceramic mug, it seemed to change how I saw drinking coffee. As something with more to it than just gulping it down like a soda. This was before Starbucks.

No cord.
No plug, no electrical outlet needed.

I just use a tea kettle to boil water, but you can also use the microwave for heating the water.
You can take it camping.

Fewer working parts = fewer things to break and go wrong.

They last a VERY long time. My sister has replaced her coffee maker several times in the years since I have owned and loved my melior pot.

They look good in my kitchen.

They are made well, of pyrex-type glass and polished steel, and, I think, are beautiful. You can leave them on your counter and they look good. Better than the plastic electric kind. They look like an instrument or expensive tool, rather than a standard appliance.

Interestingly, the Bodum, which is the most popular brand of melior, is made by an old clarinet factory in Normandy. (I just read a review posting that says the quality has changed, since the original craftsmen might not still be there anymore, so it might pay to look for a used one or antique one. Mine is 6 years old now, and is still made very well.)

The melior can be used to make tea from bulk.

Bulk tea is often cheaper than packaged tea, or in the case of organic teas, it is the only way to purchase it. Sometimes I even empty out the teabags into the melior because I want to avoid that "wet paper" taste.

I put a kitchen towel around my pot to keep the coffee warm, but there is a type of melior that is double-walled stainless steel that can keep coffee warm all morning like a thermos, and another type that is double-walled glass. The stainless steel one has a very graceful design.

I saw my first melior at the Coffee Trader on Milwaukee's East Side. Does anyone remember The Coffee Trader? The Coffee Trader was way ahead of its time. They served all their coffee this way, and each time the waiters had to explain how to use them (its very simple, wait a few minutes, then push the plunger with the filter on it down, then pour.) The Coffee Trader had absolutely adorable "cozys" that were quilted and "stood up" over the melior pot. They each were made of a different fabric. I have always wanted one, but somehow never got or made one.

I just looked around for one on the web, but none of them look like the ones the Coffee Trader used to have. The Coffee Trader one was larger than the melior, stood on its own (even without the melior in it) was made of four pieces of quilted fabric which were sewn together and had four finished edges, and curved at the top to a point which had some kind of fabric knob type finish on it. To pick it up, you just grabbed the top knot and lifted it up to pour some coffee. It would also work to store the melior, like a melior cover. Remember the quilted covers people used to use to cover their toasters? My Grandmother had one. If anyone wants to make one like this, I would buy it. I would line the inside with a heat-reflecting fabric, and use a kind of fiber felt inside the quilting that is like the water repellant fabrics mountain climbers wear. And I liked the floral prints they had, which reminded me of the antique floral prints my grandmother used to wear in the 40's.

A scar cream that really works.

Try using the scar cream, Mederma.

Reddish scars, whether they are from stretch marks, acne, or burns, will heal quicker than colorless scars.

You apply it to recent scars three to four times a day for two months and four times a day to old scars for up to six months.

I had heard that most of the creams and lotions didn't really work--just made your skin smoother/softer, so I didn' t try any other treatments than this one, which was recomended by our Doctor. But this one actually worked.

My son has had 16 operations. We used to think that scars were a way of life--so he wore them as a badge of courage. But when I went to a dermatologist myself to check for melanoma, I asked her what might help my son, and she suggested Mederma. That was several years ago, and you can't see the scars now without him actually pointing them out.

Its a clear gel, doesn't stain clothing, and is pretty much odorless. Some day I will start putting it all over my body......LOL

The cool thing about it is it is a refined and tested version of an old folk remedy, Allium. Which is the onion. I guess you could put onion juice on the scars to save money--but you would smell like onions!

Delicious, Exotic, Non-alcoholic Party Beverages

Chai is my favorite for fall and winter. You can get a good organic Chai concentrate in a box at my local health food co-op. I serve it half & half with Almond milk. Its usually served hot like coffee. It does have caffeen in it. Its made from tea, and spices and is a little peppery. Mmmmmm!

For summer there is nothing better than fresh-squeezed organic lemons or limes (or both) with turbinado sugar to make lemonaid. Add a sprig of fresh mint or a slice of lime to the top of the glass. Or put a tiny sprig of mint into your ice cube trays before adding the water and freezing. I like to make lemonaide all summer by boiling water, adding the sugar to dissolve it, refrigerating it, then adding the lemon/lime before serving.

For a great easy punch, half-fill a large punch bowl with cold 100% juice of any kind (cranberry blends are good,) add a bottle of seltzer or Sprite for some fizz, and float scoops of a really good sorbet or sherbert on top. Get whatever's the latest fruit juice craze, like pomegranite juice. For more decoration, slice oranges thinly and float them on top.

In the south, sweetened ice tea is a favorite. Make sun tea, 0r make large batches of tea ahead of time and cool it in the fridge, then let people decide on the sweetener themselves, and offer a bowl of fresh lemon slices to put in it.

Green tea is very popular now and very summery and light. You can even put the tea in ice cube trays, and as they freeze, empty them into large zip lock bags. Put the bags in a cooler and either add them to the regular tea or use them in other drinks.

In the winter, make hot tea and add mulling spices to it for a great flavor. Use cinnamon sticks as stirrers. If you have a pot of this on the stove as guests arrive it makes the whole house smell wonderful.

Everyone likes chocolate. At least everyone female I know. Get a really good chocolate and melt it in a double boiler, and add a variety of milks--I prefer Almond milk. Adding a spoonful of coconut milk is excellent. I prever Agave nectar right now as a sweetener (its like honey but not quite as sweet.) But turbinado sugar is good.
For more flavor, add cinnamon, vannilla, nutmeg, allspice, mint or cardamom. Don't forget to have some tiny marshmallows for a garnish.

For any sweet drink, have whipped cream ready for on top. The stuff in cans comes in three flavors now; strawberry, chocolate and vanilla. Unfortunately, these usually have dairy in them, so we have these available for those who can have dairy products.

Also, get some sprinkles. These finishing touches are what makes the drink special for a party.

V8 with some Swedish Bitters, sea salt, a celery stick and an olive is a great drink.

For a party I always buy the little paper umbrellas for the drinks, and I go to Goodwill and get as many real glass drink glasses as I can find. The real glass makes everything taste better than plastic, and even if they don't match--its easier for people to remember which drink is theirs.

If you want to get more complicated, and can afford it, buy or borrow a juicer. Ahead of time, scrub up a lot of fresh locally grown organic fruit and/or vegetables, and stick them in a huge bowl of crushed ice. Have your visitors select the vegetables as you juice them. Be sure to include things like fresh spinach leaves, cucumbers and beets.

Gratitude

Beatitudes
for Friends of Persons With Disabilities


Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech,
For you help me to know that if I persevere I can be understood.

***************

Blessed are you who never bid me to “hurry up”

and take my tasks from me and do them for me,
For often I need time, rather than help.

***************

Blessed are you who stand beside me as I enter new and untried ventures,
For my failures will be outweighed by the times I surprise myself and you.

***************

Blessed are you who understand that it is difficult for me to put my thoughts into words.

***************

Blessed are you who never remind me that today I asked the same question two times.

***************

Blessed are you who respect me and love me just as I am,
And do not wish I would be otherwise.



WEAVE, WEAVE US TOGETHER, TOGETHER IN LOVE.


"God has given each of you some special abilities;

be sure to use them to help each other."
(1Peter 4:7-11)

And God Said...

...No

I asked God to take away my pride.
And God said, "No."
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
And God said, "No."
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
And God said, "No."
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
And God said, "No."
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain.
And God said, "No."
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
And God said, "No."
He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
And God said, "No."
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!"

© Claudia Minden Weisz


"When we look back and wonder how we ever made it through,
we realize it's not because we are clever, but because God has been wise."

--Author Unknown

Quotes to Live By

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.
It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.”

-- John Wayne

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know,
and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen:
there will be something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly."

-- Barbara J. Winter

"Reflect upon your present blessings,
of which every man has plenty;
not on your past misfortunes,
of which all men have some."

– Charles Dickens

What to do for Sprains, Strains, Backache, Bruises

Boericke & Tafel

Arniflora Arnica Gel

This stuff is the best thing in my medicine cabinet. Next to Tylenol, it is the best thing for a sprained ankle. I once sprained my ankle in the middle of moving our home to a new flat. I was able to finish moving.

This stuff is a clear gel, with no real odor (if you really try, it kinda smells like green tea.) It doesn't stain clothing, and doesn't burn or cause any kind of side effect. I put it on about twice a day by rubbing it into the swollen areas around my ankle. I spent 3 more days packing, and moving and carrying boxes with no trouble.

I have recommended it to a person who had whiplash from a car accident, and it helped within 3 days. I recommended it to someone who had a back injury that was 4 years old, and had recently gotten much worse so that the person couldn't work (lifting 50lbs was part of the job.) That person was able to go back to work within a week.

You can't take it internally or put it on a cut or open wound. But its good for ankle, knee, hip, back and neck strains, sprains and bruises. It seems to help with inflammation, and is somewhat antibacterial, and also promotes healing.

It's non-prescription, and doesn't interfere with other medications you might need.

I was thinking about this when we were watching the Olympics last night. I hope all the athletes have at least tried it or know about it. I have used it for over 20 years, and it has always worked.

Emotional Integrity

Say What You Mean
~
Mean What You Say


A lot of the misunderstandings that happen around people with Autism could be prevented if people could follow this. Both the neuro-typical people and the people with Autism.

The say what you mean part includes:

No sarcasm -- because often even when a person with Autism "gets it" they have a much harder time with decoding sarcasm when anxious or over-stimulated.

No slang -- people with Autism tend to be way behind their peers in learning slang terms, partly from having spent less time with peers in casual settings, and partly from lack of paying attention to things not in their area of interest.

No innuendo -- "wink, wink" people with Autism often miss the body language that modifies a supposedly "absurd" bit of dialogue, to make it meaningful.

No exaggeration -- Autistic people often don't need the exaggeration to get your point, because they take everything at face value, and very literally. They either "get it" or they don't. Exaggeration only works if you explain your comment as being a metaphor or exaggeration up front.

For instance, when a child says; "I hate you!" when you insist on a chore, you don't take it personal (hopefully.) You know it is just an immature way of exaggerating a point that they are trying to make (extreme frustration.) However, saying a similar thing to an Autistic person will tend to backfire, since it is often used in a very heated, emotional exchange, and this is when the Autistic person is at their worst in decoding what is happening in their world socially.

No Double-Meanings -- Often someone will ask a question or bring up a topic to get a completely different point across. For instance; imagine if you went to visit a friend on the spur of the moment, and they made a comment like: "Gee, I hate it when my relatives drop in unexpectedly without calling first." You might call before coming over the next time. An Autistic person would not get the hint, no matter how obvious it was, because they aren't ever looking for hints, unless they have been specifically taught this, and were calm enough to remember to do it in a variety of social settings.

Of course, all these things listed above are the perfect material for comedians, comedy shows, and close friends who already have their personal vocabularies, and social styles memorized. These are the social things that make life interesting. However, in reality, they are much more fun to watch ("I Love Lucy" or "The Simpsons" comes to mind) than to experience in your own family life.

In fact, all of the above things are what constitutes "drama" in relationships. In a boring relationship, it might spice things up, but a steady diet of drama can deteriorate a relationship when one or both of the members is under stress, tired, is insecure about the relationship or anxious.

At one point, we put these things into a list that was posted on the wall in our house, until the Autistic person grew older and wiser and we were able to teach some of these things to him in a calm setting. We still have the "No Sarcasm" rule, in our house, but it gets broken regularly, when we are having fun on a playful, casual, low stress day.


The Mean What You Say part includes:

Never promise what you can't be sure you can deliver. If you are constantly using threats that you can't follow up on, you are eventually going to make whatever you say irrelevant to people.

If you can't be sure, say so. If you don't know the answer, say so.

This removes the verbal/behavioral "static" that people with Autism have a hard time filtering out. For instance, if Dad always says: "If you don't stop horsing around in the car we aren't going to the movie." But then everyone gets upset because the movie was planned for a week as a reward for doing homework, and the family goes to the movie anyway. What Dad says is then "static" -- irrelevant information, that is simply noisy.

Dad could have said that he would stop the car and not move it until everyone was quiet. This might have been more realistic as to what was eventually going to be followed through on.

Choose carefuly what to say so that everything you say has a practical meaning in the real world, with useful information about what is happening or is going to happen.

If you consistently do this, your words will mean more, and matter more to those you speak to. If you do this inconsistently, then people will always be waiting for the next shoe to drop, so to speak. For instance, if you only act when you have first threatened to act for 3 or 4 times, then no one will start listening to you until the 4 th time you say something. If you only get roused enough to interrupt what you are doing when you are yelling at the top of your voice, then no one will start listening to you until you are yelling at the top of your voice.

Consistency.
Be Extremely consistent. If your words reflect your actions accurately, this helps the Autistic person make better choices about what to do and what not to do, when their behavior is within their control.

Live your Values
If you value something, spell it out, write it down, speak it out loud in concrete terms. Be specific. Then live what you have spelled out. This is better than any lecture, or angry diatribe. Discuss values when you are all calm and focused--not when a situation is tense.

Imagine Who You Want to Be, Then Set Your Intention, And Live to What You Want to Be
Don't react. Act.
Be the person you want to be regardless of what is happening around you, to you, or because of you. If you want to be the kind of person who doesn't scream or yell, then don't. Don't let yourself get egged on into being who you are not. Nobody can force you to behave a certain way. If an Autistic person is loosing it, falling to the floor kicking and screaming it is OK to just stand there and wait for it to end. You don't have to yell to show others you are "taking this seriously." If there is nothing you can do about it, then don't make it worse by doing things just to look like you are trying to do something. You don't have to let guilt make you do stuff. Decide that if it is the right thing to do, you will do it, whether you are feeling guilty or not. Decide this ahead of time.

You don't help a person because of who they are, you help a person because of who you are.
Mother Theresa didn't question the dying people she helped to determine if they had led a deserving life first. She had made a decision to help the dying ahead of time, because she felt that no one should die alone--not because of who they were, but because of who she was.

If the person uses this against you, then that is manipulation, and that is a different situation. This is where you set boundaries and are careful who to help and how to help, and for what reasons.

A good resource for dealing with meltdowns is the book:
"Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments, Practical Solutions for Tantrums, Rage and Meltdowns" by Brenda Smith Myles, and Jack Southwick

Raisins Against Arthritis

A home remedy for Arthritis

Do you remember The California Raisins?

Singing/dancing raisins, from a commercial around 1987. Anyone remember those? I have a collection of the toy figures. I think they were from Hardees. Those were some happy raisins. Now, I think I have an idea why......

I have just made this recipe for a friend who is visiting us who has arthritis.

I heard about it several times on NPR when it was mentioned on The People's Pharmacy, and decided I just had to try making it because its so simple, and yet so intriguing.

I used organic bulk golden raisins from Outpost Natural Foods.

I just tasted some and if nothing else, these raisins are delicious! (Yes, the alcohol evaporated!)


Raisins Against Arthritis
-----------------------------------

• Empty one box of golden light raisins into a large shallow container.


• Completely cover the raisins with gin.


• Let stand, uncovered, until the gin evaporates.


• Store them in a closed container.


• Eat nine raisins daily.

~Original source:

credited to Lois L. in the parish newsletter of St. Lucas Lutheran Church in Toledo, Ohio

Reprinted in "The People's Pharmacy" by Joe and Teresa Graedon, Ph.D.

People see results in about a month.

People allergic to sulfites (in the raisins) won't be able to use this remedy.
(In my opinion, this is a guess, it increases methylation, which helps detoxify heavy metals and other toxins.)

Its not expensive, not invasive, involves no habit-forming drugs (the alcohol evaporates,) or surgery, requires no prescription, has no side-effects, no drug interactions, so it might be something to try when the more traditional treatments aren't working well enough.

Other reputedly good folk remedies for Arthritis include:
Rose Hips
Apple Cider Vinegar
100% Emu Oil (as a lotion)

And the supplements Glucosamine and Chondroitin.

I have used the glucosamine and chondroitin supplements myself, for ankle, knee and hip pain. The pain always went away just as I was finishing the bottle of capsules, and didn't return for almost a year, during which I didn't need to take the supplements. (I suppose I could have continued taking them all the time, but I wanted to find out how much I really needed, since supplements can be expensive.)

But the thing that ended up helping me with this kind of pain the most was wearing lace-up shoes (with good arch support in them) every day from the moment I got up until the moment I went to bed. Later, I found that sandals with really high arch supports also worked in the summer, such as Birkenstocks. Now I haven't seemed to need the supplements at all anymore.

Cast Iron

Using cast iron pots and skillets for cooking has been recommened for people with low iron.

Here is a good site that talks about how to use cast iron pots for cooking and how to take care of them, and a site explaining the health benefits.

What's Cooking America
http://whatscookingamerica.net/Information/CastIronPans.htm

Holiday Cook
http://www.holidaycook.com/cast-iron/health-benefits.shtml

Besides helping you to need fewer iron supplements, cast iron pots have additional advantages in that they are extremely economical to buy, are very easy to clean, and can last generations. You can cook over a campfire with them, put them in the oven, and put them on the grill. (Unless you have bought ones with wooden handles.)

I have pots that were my grandmothers, that will probably outlast my grandchildren.

Iron has been found to be low in children with Autism and who have had lead poisoning. When our son was given a sleep study to find out what could help him sleep better, the main lab finding was that he was low in iron. Apparently, low iron can be a part of the cause of restless and twitchy legs at night. Low iron is a main cause of anemia, fatigue and other health problems.

Taking too much iron, on the other hand, is not good either, particularly for men.
Men don't have a regular monthly way of getting rid of it, and it is difficult for the body to remove too much iron without, um, you know (cough), bleeding.

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it."

~ Bible, Song of Solomon 8:7



"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."

~Tagore

The Chair
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A poem about the Power of Positive Thinking

It sits there at the crest of the beach,
on the rise just before the sand dips towards the water's edge.
A lone beach chair, seemingly abandoned.
It's a jaunty chair with its yellow striped canvas seat and sailboats floating on its blue and yellow back support.

It lists just a bit to the left, almost rakishly, as it nestles in the sand, surveying the sea.
It is a chair made just for sitting, and sitting on the sand at that.
It has no legs to get in the way of stretching out, relaxing,
and letting the sun seep into your bones and warm your soul.

It is so unlike another chair I know. A black chair with wheels.
A chair that does not survey the vastness of the ocean with a jaunty air,
but rather a chair that defines a narrower kingdom.

And yet, I think this other chair is a happier chair than the one that sits and stares out to sea,
for it is a chair with wheels that take the place of legs no longer able to propel their owner forth.

This other chair is not made for sitting and looking at the world.
It is a chair built for exploring, for meeting life face to face and tasting of its spirit.

Perhaps this chair should have a seat of yellow and white stripes,
and a back support adorned with sailboats.
A far better statement of its adventurous and joyous possibilities.

~Suzanne Mintz
From The National Family Caregivers Association
http://www.nfcacares.org/improving_caregiving/believe_in_your_family.cfm